If there was something that can define me, deeply, I'd say.. Dark and twisty. This image of delusion, the unstable inner thoughts and feelings of everything. Living in a day dream everyday, all the time. The question that troubles me the most, how are you today?

with all of its complexity and high detailed answer, I have to cram it into one word that excludes everything, good, I say. I read somewhere that saying good or any positive word helps the day to be, good. and as much as I want to live that good feeling of a day, that I have been missing from my weeks, I find it hard to exactly live the day itself. I just want to pass by days that will never come back, the philosophy, and reality of days not coming back is intimidating and at the same time saddening. Sometimes I wish I can have time off of time to have time to be. Just be, this simple thing we should be practicing everyday. but having expectations falling over our shoulders, or my shoulder, heavies me, and my soul to just be. because being for me is neglecting all that and going somewhere very very far from focusing. I just want to fly with my head, my thoughts that never stop spinning my head around. I have no idea what i'm thinking, this zoning out, pausing phase from focusing, there I can find me, always. I can't define my self. the question of who am I scares me, thinking of all the stories I was part of that shaped me today, that's 21 years of life, of memories, of feelings, experience, people, heartbeats, and .. light. 

I've always looked for ways to define me for me. Its true whats being said., its a process, a journey through experience that help define ourselves, see it more clearly, and consciously.